Sometimes, just very occasionally, the God of Strange Perversions smiles down on me, pats me on the head and says "Go on then."
We had some friends round last night. For the sake of argument let's call them, oooh, I don't know, Jack and Ellie. I've known them for nearly a decade, longer even than Her Indoors; in fact I was there the first time they met, although it took them several years to become an item, largely because Jack was married to someone else at the time and Ellie went off with another of our friends that night, much to my disappointment because I've always rather fancied her and never really made much of a secret of the fact. Anyway, they've finally done the decent thing and got married - in Australia, without any of us. But now they're back, they're having a big wedding reception type party next Saturday in a rather swanky hotel. You know, the kind where you have to smuggle your own drink in because you can only afford to buy Coke at the bar.
So anyway, they came over last night for a few post-wedding, pre-party drinks, as you do, and the four of us were milling around in the kitchen idly chatting about the impending party when Ellie casually threw out her little snippet of information which stopped me dead in my tracks. "Oh yeah, Jack, I spoke to Wendy and she says the skirt will be fine in the water, but she's not sure about the top, but... meh, doesn't matter if it gets ruined, I'll never wear it again anyway."
Pardon? Not quite daring to believe what I'd just heard, and fearful of disapproving comments from Her Indoors, I said nothing, but the thought has been eating away at me ever since. The lovely Ellie is planning on jumping in the pool in her wedding dress. That's such a fantastic thought it deserves to be in extra large bold italics.
We had some friends round last night. For the sake of argument let's call them, oooh, I don't know, Jack and Ellie. I've known them for nearly a decade, longer even than Her Indoors; in fact I was there the first time they met, although it took them several years to become an item, largely because Jack was married to someone else at the time and Ellie went off with another of our friends that night, much to my disappointment because I've always rather fancied her and never really made much of a secret of the fact. Anyway, they've finally done the decent thing and got married - in Australia, without any of us. But now they're back, they're having a big wedding reception type party next Saturday in a rather swanky hotel. You know, the kind where you have to smuggle your own drink in because you can only afford to buy Coke at the bar.
So anyway, they came over last night for a few post-wedding, pre-party drinks, as you do, and the four of us were milling around in the kitchen idly chatting about the impending party when Ellie casually threw out her little snippet of information which stopped me dead in my tracks. "Oh yeah, Jack, I spoke to Wendy and she says the skirt will be fine in the water, but she's not sure about the top, but... meh, doesn't matter if it gets ruined, I'll never wear it again anyway."
Pardon? Not quite daring to believe what I'd just heard, and fearful of disapproving comments from Her Indoors, I said nothing, but the thought has been eating away at me ever since. The lovely Ellie is planning on jumping in the pool in her wedding dress. That's such a fantastic thought it deserves to be in extra large bold italics.
I should probably feel guilty for even thinking like this, given that she's just married, but I can't. I'm so excited by the thought of finally seeing Ellie soaked in her lovely dress that any kind of logical thought has completely gone out of the window. Of course it probably won't happen and I'll be hugely disappointed, but I'm clinging on to this thought for at least a week.
RSS Feed